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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?